I have taken being an introvert way too far...
I don't want to talk about "sleepwalking" anymore because I'm so sick of it!
then I realized I really have nothing to wake up to.
So I haven't blogged for a couple of days and boy, have I realized a thing or two.
I sort of told myself that the next time I blog,
it was going to be a BIG, HAPPY post filled with cheer and excitement!
I try to be excited about this one thing,
but I haven't gotten there yet.
so far... I'm still as clueless as before.
Last night I think,
I was handling an audition,
Well basically all I had to do was sit and say to the people who came to write down their name in this form.
it could've easily been a one person job,
but I did it with Kenny anyway.
I sat there for two friggin' hours!
Good thing I wasn't alone or else I would've been bored out of my skull!
So that night I met a few new people,
And I'm not one those girls who can immediately jump into a conversation with people she just met.
I've been advised by someone who is aware of my current introvert madness situation...
"Expand your network, expand your horizon. meet new people"
Instead, I just sat there, listened to music, chatted with friends I already knew and sang a bit.
I look up to people who could really put themselves out there,
like when an opportunity comes they'll just go "sing me up!"
Yep, I admire those
as for me,
I always and always over think things
no good has ever come out of that
sometimes I feel like I just want to slap myself across the face and tell myself to not think twice for once!
I stay put and I'm perfectly comfortable with it
until I realized that I've accomplished nothing by wearing this attitude that I've held for a couple of months.
It didn't happen on purpose,
Like I said I had nothing to be excited about.
and then to come home,
and hear the "latest news" of what's going down with my family :(
week after week...
and all I end up with is nothing
absolutely nothing.
well on a high note,
I found out something that could make me feel good.
I never realized how the natural way of the universe can play such a part in making you appreciate the little things.
I hardly ever if not never not do what my father and my brother tells me.
from making them a snack to handling their taxes...
I never used to do this a couple of years ago,
I used to be a whiny kid and they'd have to tell me several times before I got off my ass and do it.
Recently I embraced the fact that I am a daughter,
an only daughter,
who should definitely play her part as a woman in the house,
by not disobeying the men.
I'm not saying that men overpower women or anything,
it's just after some consideration,
I know my part,
daddy and abang have all the rights to ask me to do things for them as a daughter and a sister.
and you know what?
it feels amazing and good,
to be able to help them out,
and doing it willingly for a change without complain.
because when it comes right down to it,
these two are the men of my life... right now,
and I have a responsibility to them.
It might sound selfish,
that doing all this actually makes me feel better,
when I should do it without a reason,
but I try...
at least I'm trying to be better day by day while I can't get the hang on everything else in life.
some of the things they get me up to:
1. coffee
2. laundry
3. docs
4. cooking (if they suddenly get hungry)
basically it's all the basic stuff that I didn't realize I should've been doing until now.
but most of all,
I've learn to prevent myself from talking back to them when I'm reluctant or just lazy to make tea or cookies or whatever.
that's the positive part :)
just now I almost gave up on writing,
because everything else is just not going right
I really don't know when I'll get it all together again.
