Again, I just want to say that I did not post my results here just so I could show them off. Just so we’re clear...
My problem is that,
I can type and type and type all I want,
But when the times come that I’ll have to take a stand and say something directly to the person...
I cringe,
I back away,
I get nervous and panic,
I’ll chicken out and so on...
I will end up NOT saying what I wanted to say out loud.
Sure I like talking,
And it seems that the words come out effortlessly when I’m with my closest friends,
But only to them of course.
So all this about showing what I’ve got to say and what I’ve written to the world,
I get extremely paranoid about that part.
I over think about it countless of times,
Until I end up not doing it at all,
Or if I do end up doing it,
It takes such a great effort to even get me to agree to do it.
I guess I can say that I’m a very secluded writer,
I prefer to express my thoughts freely,
To people who are already so used to seeing me that way.
And the thought of public speaking,
Acting,
Publishing written works,
Or sharing them in a group sessions,
Scares the shit out of me.
Although,
I want to do them,
I really, really, really want to be able to share,
I have a tiny little wish,
To show the world what I’m capable of,
And to prove to some and myself that I can step out and speak.
I honestly hope,
That I’ll be able to overcome my fear.
Actually,
I don’t exactly know what my fear is.
I get opportunities,
And I turn them down,
Every single time.
