let's talk about love.
confessions of love are so dramatic right?
I don't love you though. love is such a strong word and I think it should be saved until I truly feel it.
but I like you. in fact, I really, really, really like you. and I'll continue to like you.
that will eventually lead to love, I hope.
but I have to get my priorities straight,
don't get me wrong, you are important,
and this isn't an excuse,
but I'm not even sure of my own feelings,
I'm not in the right place yet,
I'm not the right person yet.
I can tell you this though,
I'm not going to wander elsewhere,
I'll stay true and loyal,
honest from my heart, I'm pining for no one else but you.
it might look like... well, like there are others,
and this is when I start to hate myself,
if they are not you, I become such a bitch.
I get so frustrated when others come and they are NOT you.
and sometimes I wonder if it's fair that I'm saying "no" to them when I'm not necessarily saying "yes" to you either.
does that make me such a horrible, terrible person?
the whole excuse, "I'm not ready to be in a relationship" or "I have other things going on in my life right now."
when it's not that I'm not ready,
if it were you, I won't hesitate a second to say that I am ready!
but in the end, studies comes first.
so have I really become a cruel, cold, heartless person?
I can't help it,
I say things to avoid from getting myself into a sticky situation,
or I'll just put on a cold shoulder so that I don't lead them on anymore...
I've never done anything like this before,
I'm starting to question myself and my morality,
I don't want to become everything I hate just because I'm not interested in someone.
bright note,
I love my friends <3
I love them because they make me feel at home when I currently don't even have a home.
And I love these kind of friends who I don't see too often anymore,
it's not a sad thing,
because I spend days missing them and wishing I could meet up with them,
and when I do get to see them it's so worth it.
sometimes when you spend time away from someone you'll realize how much they mean to you and you'll cherish every short moment you get with them :)
twist it here, twist it there,
wherever my heart goes,
it will lead straight to you,
so enjoy the ride.
