my heart's being toyed around with all over the place this week...
every day of this week,
it got toyed and played with and now I'm just so freaking tired.
so many things going on,
too many things for just one heart to bear,
so much is changing too fast.
every day of this week,
I don't know why...
you think you're moving on then all of a sudden, not just one but two, three (please don't come to four) someones from your past decides to show up.
it's not the kind of in-your-face kind of show up,
just little reminders here and there like "hey! how are you? it's been a long time, no chat"
and a few acquaintances.
but it got me thinking like "what the hell?"
I thought I had a good thing going on,
and it felt really good to feel this way again when I seriously thought my heart wouldn't beat this fast for somebody anymore.
It's just weird that one, two, three are making guest appearances during this stage of my life...
when I'm sooo incredibly happy with where I am now that I don't want anything to ruin it!
I would die before I let anyone ruin it!
but it's so difficult,
while the rest were just friendly hellos and cameo appearances,
one had to deliver me some bad news.
haish...
does it seem inappropriate that I be there for him while he's going through this difficult time?
or will it jeopardize this good feeling/thing, happiness that I'm going through?
and I'm really, really happy.
I'm happy everyday.
so happy that I could just hate whoever or whatever tries to break me down.
well, that's one direction that my heart was heading to.
on other directions are because I'm busy with moving,
*just dumps everything in boxes because I'm too sad to think about leaving my home,
I won't even be in the new apartment until holidays starts*
so that's a lot for one heart to take in.
I want this good thing to work out,
but oh God, the past always catches up to you.
I'm not unsure about my feelings, I know who is most important to me right now,
but seriously, you decide to show up again in my life when I'm already going through a lot?
seriously? are you freaking serious? does it have to be now?
I think too much.
I just want to sleep. and then wake up and pack some more. do everything physically without thinking, without listening to my heart.
