people are asking...
no that statement is too general,
certain people are hassling why I''m making such a big fuss about moving.
they say things like how I'm no where near into becoming an adult because I'm acting so immature,
well let me tell you this,
I'm doing it aren't I?
I'm packing up my stuff and moving even though I'm only doing it halfheartedly.
I'm doing this for the people I love,
I'm giving in and sacrificing my need for comfort because I know they need me to be there for them.
isn't that the adult thing to do?
so yeah, I'm complaining
that's so teenage like,
well nobody's perfect.
it's not the new house,
really it's not.
it's my old house,
the one I just officially said goodbye to,
only a few hours ago.
this is my childhood home,
I spent years growing up there.
that was the only house I remember.
I had toys, got rid of them as I got old, bought new things, put them into my spaces, moved them within my familiar spaces.
I also spent my teenage years there,
I drew angry drawings and pasted them all over the wall,
then tore them up when I realized I was getting too old for them.
that was the only home I've ever known,
I build memories there.
I've had this song for awhile but I only started to really listen to it now,
because now is the only time I feel like I can relate to it
Empty Room by Marjorie Fair
I'm so tired of learning to talk
Building fences on the wall
In this state, I shall not remain
I don't want to go, but if I die young
Fill my empty room with the sun
Fill my empty room with the sun
This Doesn't matter like it did before
This doesn't matter much anymore
Change my mind or help me to try
Im afraid and I'm not satisfied
In this state I shall not remain
I don't want to go, but if I die young
Fill my empty room with the sun
Fill my empty room with the sun
This doesn't matter like it did before
This doesn't matter much anymore
This doesn't matter like it did before
This doesn't matter much anymore
Daylight is not the same
When your stabbing at the stars
In your eyes, and bleeding
Is what you see
This doesn't matter like it did before
This doesn't matter much anymore
This doesn't matter like it did before
This doesn't matter much anymore
This doesn't matter much anymore
as of now I've said my final farewells to the walls I grew up in, to the wallpaper I tore when I was so angry,
I hugged those walls and felt like so little time was on our side as I rushed back out into the world
so I'm back in uni now,
I had to leave home early to be here...
and after these past few days of hectic packing and stressing/freaking out,
all my workload piled up to the max.
but what do I do once I got to uni,
I didn't touch a single thing related to my academic life (which is the purpose of why I'm here)
instead I thought I'd do something related to my social life since I felt like I deserved a little fun after all this moving sh*t
it was only a little bit of fun of course,
I spent tonight hanging out with ct orange and the night was full of donuts and vampire diaries and facebooking from the same laptop and making more plans for tomorrow :)
which is exactly what I need after the week I've had.
