killing boredom

I wrote a something just now during one of my darkest moments,
I don't know if I should post it yet.

other than to kill the boredom,
I'm also trying to avoid all this negative energy.

so that's why I'm doing this,
is it always going to be like this every night? (when I'm not in uni)
just stay up late at night, doing nothing, waiting...
and answering survey questions that I randomly googled

Do you have any pets?
No.

What color shirt are you wearing?
Brown. Body Glove :)

Name three things that are physically close to you:
Laptop, bottle of water and keys

What is the last book you read?
A James Patterson novel if I'm not mistaken which I haven't finished yet

Are you or were you a good student?
Academically I was just average, my behavior was all over the place but I tried to stay out of trouble

What's your favorite sport?
Volley ball

Do you enjoy sleeping late?
Yes, I do. I feel like I work better creatively late at night.

What's the weather like right now?
It's a pretty cool night

Who tells the best jokes?
Jel, I haven't seen her for a couple of months and I remember that I've never laughed as hard as when I was with her. I love that babe.

What was the last thing you dreamed about?
About my previous post

Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?
I bumped into a car that was parked to the side once. it was my first crash sort of. I was bloody scared I didn't even stop to check if my car was okay

Do you believe in karma?
Very much yes. something will always come back and bite you in the ass, you'll see

Do you believe in luck?
Lately it's all been about luck so I guess yes since my luck's not looking too good

Do you like your eggs scrambled or sunny side up?
Scrambled

Do you collect anything? If so, what?
Movie tickets

Are you proud of yourself?
Not at the moment

Are you reliable?
I hope so

Have you ever given money to a bum?
Yes

What's your favorite food?
Fried chicken

Have you ever had a secret admirer?
I think so

Do you like the smell of gasoline?
Ummmm.... yes!

Do like to draw?
When I feel like it

What's your favorite invention?
The internet

Is your room messy?
It's my kinda mess

What do you like better: oranges or apples?
Apples

Do you give in easily?
Never

Are you a good guesser?
I hate guessing. I get easily annoyed by it

Can you read other people's expressions?
A bit yeah

Are you a bully?
I don't think so

Do you have a job?
I work for myself

What time did you wake up this morning?
10:30am

What did you eat for breakfast this morning?
Chicken rice

When was the last time you showered?
This morning

What do you plan on doing tomorrow?
Rest my drained body which has been detached from the local clock and be fresh by the time for a weeding tomorrow night

What's your favorite day of the week and why?
I like Wednesday for some reason

Do you have any nicknames?
Yes.

Have you ever been scuba diving?
No

What's your least favorite color?
Pink I guess

Is there someone you have been constantly thinking about? If yes, who?
I think you can guess. I know I hate guessing but I just don't want to tell so you guess

Would you ever go skydiving?
It's one of the things I would like to do in life before I die

What toothpaste do you use?
Colgate

Do you enjoy challenges?
Yes, it helps me to become a better person

What's the worst injury you have had?
I was stabbed through my ribcage once

What do you want to know about the future?
I want stereotyping to stop

What does your last text message say?
something about an assignment on Monday

Who was the last person you spoke over the phone to?
Ayang

What's your favorite school subject?
Literature I guess

What's your least favorite school subject?
History :P

Would you rather have money or love?
Love

What is your dream vacation?
somewhere where time stands still

What is your favorite animal?
cats

Do you miss anyone right now?
No

What's the last sporting event you watched?
I don't watch sport events

Do you need to do laundry?
No, everything's clean!

Do you listen to the radio?
Yes, I must have music all the time

Where were you when 9/11 happened?
Some where... I don't remember really

What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
Curse at it, well actually I yell at it until everyone sees me then I walk away

Have you ever caught a butterfly?
In a jar yes

What color are your bed sheets?
still red

What's your ringtone?
Silly Love Song :D

Who was the last person to make you laugh?
The crazy girls this afternoon

Do you have any obsessions right now?
YES!

Do you like things that glow in the dark?
I used to. Now I hate it because I don't want anything to spoil the darkness

What's your favorite fruity scent?
Strawberry I guess

Do you watch cartoons?
Yep

Have you ever sat on a roof?
And got stuck on it

Have you ever been to a different country?
Yep

Name three things in the world you dislike:
Racism, Stereotyping, and Narrow-mindedness

Name three people in the world you dislike:
no thank you

Has a rumor even been spread about you?
Sure

Do you like sushi?
Not a fave

Do you believe in magic?
I believe!

Do you hold grudges?
Holding one right now

random n bored

Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the planet?
Yes! I can’t name names but I literally want this person out of my life if not out of the planet.

How do you flush the toilet in public?
Uhh... press the handle?

Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?
Yes

Do you have a crush on someone?
Lotsa someones actually :)

Name one thing you worry about running out of.
Oddly enough money... as much as I hate calling it a requirement, I still need it to get by daily

What famous person do you (or other people) think you resemble?
Haha! Ask other people

What is your favorite pizza topping?
Anything meaty

Do you crack your knuckles?
Could never do that by myself

What song do you hate the most?
I listen to everything, even to the songs I hate and I end up singing the songs I hate and will eventually love them :)

Did just mentioning that song make it get stuck in your head?
Yes

What are your super powers?
I can eat like there’s no tomorrow and I have an a very strong inability to accept the consequences of it :P

Peppermint or spearmint?
Peppermint

Where are your car keys?
Sleeping with all the other car keys

Whose answers to this questionnaire do you want to hear?
I don’t know

What's your most annoying habit?
Food always gets stuck to my wisdom tooth and its crazy annoying when I have to try so hard to get it out with my tongue. It’s an unavoidable habit and I hate it so much

Where did you last go on vacation?
Singapore if I’m not mistaken

What is your best physical feature?
I can’t decide on that

What CD is closest to you right now?
The WKND Sessions Volume 1, it’s actually a DVD

What 3 things can always be found in your refrigerator?
Mountain Dew, Pepsi and cheese

What superstition do you believe/practice?
Ummm, something about sitting on a pillow

What color are your bed sheets?
Red

Would you rather be a fish or a bird?
Bird

Do you talk on your cell phone when you drive?
No

What are your favorite sayings?
“You speak to me in riddles...” it’s actually a lyric of a Thriving Ivory song

What song(s) do you sing most often in the shower?
Don’t sing in the shower

If you could go back or forward in time,where would you go?
If I could go back I would definitely go to my previous semesters and put my studies as my number 1 priority if I could go forward in time I hope I could go to a place where I have a successful career

What is your favorite Harrison Ford movie?
One of the Indiana Jones movies I guess

What CD is in your stereo?
Probably a soundtrack, I don’t buy CDs too often unless the movie had some really good songs

What CD will be in your stereo in a few minutes?
Haha! None

How many kids do you plan on having?
A lot

If you could kiss anyone who would it be?
Ummmm :) hehe!

What do you do when no one is watching?
Uhh... pick at my teeth I guess. When I’m with people I use my tongue which is less noticeable

If they made a movie about your life, what actor/actress would be you?
It would be a very long movie and the actress would be underpaid so I can’t picture anyone who would take the job

Would you rather die in a blaze of glory or peacefully in your sleep?
Peacefully in my sleep

Coffee or Tea
Tea

Have you ever been in love?
Is this question always going to be asked?

Do you talk to yourself?
Never out loud, I think to myself quite often

highlights of AI finale

one of the things I loved about this season,
was Will Young's song titled "Leave Right Now"
and I get to listen to it in every elimination round,
which is usually accompanied by a tearful montage of the contestants.

this is the one he sang live on the night before the results show,
featuring all the wonderful moments throughout this season.



lyrics!

~I'm here, just like I said
Though it's breaking every rule I've ever made
My racing heart, is just the same;
Why make it strong to break it once again?
And I'd love to say "I do";
Give everything to you
But I could never now be true

So I say...
I think I better leave right now
Before I fall any deeper
I think I better leave right now
Feeling weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me how
Before I fall any deeper
I think I better leave right now

I'm here, so please explain
Why you're opening up a healing wound again
I'm a little more careful, perhaps it shows
But if I lose the highs at least I�m spared the lows
Now I tremble in your arms
What could be the harm?
To feel my spirit calm?

So I say...
I think I better leave right now
Before I fall any deeper
I think I better leave right now
Feeling weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me how
Before I fall any deeper
I think I better leave right now

I wouldn't know how to say
How good it feels seeing you today
I see you've got your smile back
Like you say - you're right on track
But you may never know why
Once bitten, twice as shy
If I'm proud, perhaps I should explain
I couldn't bear to loose you again

Yes, I will.
I think I better leave right now
Feeling weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me how
Before I fall any deeper...
I think I better leave right now~

and here are the rest...

sexy boy

~I would just like to advice anyone who stumbles upon this post to read it till the end before you start judging me about my beliefs or accuse me of being lost.~

Last night I dreamt that Charlie Bewley was a Greek god (at least he was dressed like one) I was obviously one of those damned creatures of the night seeking for redemption. Then he descended upon me while I was kneeling (I don’t think I was praying) he came on a white horse (ew! Kind of prince charming-ish) he wore a golden armour and he had one of those feathery hats, it was solid gold and the feathers were bright red. He came through what looked like big, grand doors and came to sit next to me. He took off his hat and revealed his new haircut :) cropped or I’d like to call it chopped blond locks, he put his arm around me and said, “It’s okay, everyone gets a second change.” Wow. Then I said, “But I don’t want to think twice about anything anymore because every time I do I always make the wrong decisions and I’ll leave then my heart will just ache for you again.”

I personally think that was the deepest fantasy out of all my fantasies.

It had all my heart ever needed to feel whole.
A hot, attractive guy who had a crazy personality,
Greek mythology (sort of)
That kind of relationship humans have with God in times of depression,
And an answer.

An answers means the final word,
Kind of like saying “everything will be alright.”

Now that’s something I’ll seriously pay attention to.
If redemption were that sweet then I’d confess to all my sins a long time ago.

Overall, it was kind of a crazy, out of body experience for me,
I had to write it down,
I had to make something out of it.

What I learnt from it,
No matter how damned you think you are remember that God is Most Merciful,
And even if you might have other ways or beliefs to make yourself feel better,
Just remember that it’s never too late to change.

Okay, at least I think that’s how it goes.

Btw, for those of you who don’t know here’s a picture of Charlie with chopped hair...



Oooh, I absolutely have to and MUST watch this movie



It’s like the definition of indie motion stillness,
Okay I made all that up,
I have no idea what motion stillness means!

I’ve seen a couple of clips from this movie,
A couple indirectly means just one clip :P
And from what I can tell...

What I love about this movie,
Is the camera angle,
That instantly makes you feel like you right in front of the actors.

It also gives this feeling,
Like you can take your own digital camera,
And start making your own movie.

Yeah it had that home video feeling (I don’t mean in a cheap way)
But in a sneaky and sexy way ;)
And I’m loving it!

FYI, I get that religion is a personal thing so when I talk about relationships with God it is a very personal thing to me. I’m not trying to shove anything down your throat. It was a dream that I had and I’m blogging about it that’s all.

*signs* I want to call it expressing myself creatively by over thinking it and explaining everything in detail (hence, the long post) but somebody just told me today that I take everything too seriously lol

random thought:

everyone can pursue in their own creative process. I choose to do it in a way that's my own.

wow. I'm blogging from uni for the first time eva!

the ballad of the sad cafe

I would like to add another book to my wish list:

It’s called The Ballad of the Sad Cafe by Carson McCullers

*I’m sorry my posts have been bookish lately,
Before that I thought it was too Tim Urban-ish,
I guess the only way to tell if my heart is truly in the stuff I blog about,
Is the fact that I need to have an ish in them hehe!*

Anyway here’s the cover.



Now for starters,
How did I find out about the book?
Robert Pattinson recommended it to Oprah on her show,
I couldn’t actually tell what he was saying to her (because of his thick accent)
So I had to wait till some crazed fan translated the actual title to the web.

Thank you crazed fan!
I love Robby too,
But I have to be honest,
It’s because I love books... that’s why I needed to find out (if I had heard of it or not)

I think you can tell a lot about a person based on what they read,
But not enough about whom they are if you only caught the current book they’re reading.

So here are some of the reasons that made me want to read this book so badly:
(Thanks to wiki)

- The impossibility of reciprocal love, the sadness of a world in which growing up means only learning that isolation is the lot of everyone.
- Little good can come from the experience of material life.
- That nothing here has grown....that nothing ever could. The world is a sort of prison or trap that all of its denizens must suffer through....... the boredom and the struggle to perfect the heart.
- Love and friendship are the only gifts that the world has to offer and that it is better to risk everything for the sole sake of love than to wish your life away hoping for some sort of personal validation or worldly treasure.
- The real treasure that the world has to offer lies not in anything material, but in the sacrifice of self for SOMEONE.........ANYONE !

I also found out that this book,
Was made into a movie back in 1991,
I was only one at that time.

I don’t usually stick through classic films,
But if I ever get the chance to see this it would be awesome,
First I want to read the book though! :)

Changing subjects now...

THIS WEEK!

I posted “The Weather” on TL,
I wrote it a long time ago,
From what I remember it had something to do with my brother,
Finally something that has to do with persons for a change!

He lived overseas for a couple of years,
And I just thought about the weather changes he must go through,
Sometimes I envied him (It’s summer forever in Malaysia)
Sometimes I poke fun at him (while he was freezing his ass of over there)

Okay, that was not nice,
So I guess the poem was sort of dedicated to him,
It’s saying something about how you can have a love-hate relationship with the weather,
You can hate it and love it too.

Kind of like how I feel about him.

I have to remember to minus two

I have to remember to minus two,
I have to remember to do this daily,
To every hour that includes you,
So that I can keep up with your activity.

Sometimes it gets harder,
Because sometimes it says ‘3 or 6 or 7 hours ago’
That you said something that made my heart go stronger,
So I have to minus those numbers also.

I get so sad,
Because we live in different time zones,
I often miss what made you glad,
The pain throbs to my bone.

When your day ends,
Mine had just begun,
Others will always get the chance,
To get your reply filled with such fun.

I’ve tried to change,
To suit to your sleeping time,
But I couldn’t pull off the face,
I couldn’t give up what was still mine.

I have to remember to minus two,
I have to remember to do this daily,
14 hours, that’s the difference between me and you,
That’s all it takes to affect me permanently.




Just something I wrote while I was feeling a little under the weather,
Yep, it’s about Tim,
I often miss his Tweets because I’m asleep.

And when I do write back to him,
He’s asleep,
Well you get the point.

But it shouldn’t stop me from writing though, yea?