Monday, January 24, 2011

first post of the year

First post of the year.
Why did it take me so long to post?
Well to be honest, there was really nothing for me to blog about.
I mean a lot has happened, a lot has changed, some still haven’t changed and others are still in between.
But I didn’t just want to blog about something too blah like “Oh today I did this and bla bla bla” or “I’m so happy today because bla bla bla mushy mushy mushy eww eww eww double the eww”
I remember when I first started this blog, it used to be about my opinions and views and how neutral I tried to be about certain stuff. I used t give indirect settings/objects/situations about what I was talking about so that I didn’t have to be censored (hence, the blog title) or have to limit myself about what I meant to say and just say it the way I wanted to say it without giving a damn :)
I was able to express myself.
But then I got too used to saying whatever crap I wanted to say and expressing myself too often – got too cheery, giddy, over the top, sometimes depressed posts and so on – and it just lost all its meaning to me.
Yet they were memories nonetheless.
For now, I’d rather limit myself and only post stuff that really means something instead of just putting up ‘crap’ :p
Now I wanted to say I’ve realized that my thoughts have become irrational lately.
My decisions are hasty.
My opinions and views are biased (OMG! I’m turning into the thing I hate most!)
Like this semester,
I’ve always had an ongoing need for balance.
To find it, to have it and to keep it.
I lost that in the beginning of the semester.
So I felt horrible for not carrying out my duty as a student (gosh, I feel like such a nerd :p)
To ease myself I became an LMS freak.
I kept myself updated with the lecture notes, downloaded them, complied them until I had one big file.
It was no use because I had the material but I never used it.
Never read them so the notes are still clean and safe from my doodles.
Well, I’ve doodled on some of them but they’re pretty useless doodles of a daydreamer in class hehehe!
Most of my presentations for this semester are done and it’s only the first half of the semester
*whoa this semester is going by so fast :(*
And I can honestly say that I’ve only given 50% to each of them. And I bet presentations are pretty important if you want the marks.
But all I did was read from the slides, from extra short slides made by yours truly, and I was spontaneous and just said what came to my mind.
At times I didn’t even know what I was talking about.
That’s okay. Cause since I didn’t know what I was talking about I didn’t really expect anybody else to understand me either.
Then there are midterms this Wednesday.
*again, I should be studying for them but instead I’m PROCRASTINATING*
At first, I had 3 midterms this Wednesday.
Then one of them got postponed so now I only have to study for two papers.
I didn’t know if I was too happy about the postponed paper, in fact I much prefer to just get it over with and just answer whatever the hell I want and regret the results later.
But the postponed paper will give me more time to reflect now :)
So since I only have 2 papers to focus on, what shall I do?
Do I hit the books right away?
I doubt that.
I can feel my progression slipping.
I am fully UNprepared for midterms!
Hello 2nd year.