I was a heavy heart 2 carry but he never let me down. when he had me in his arms my feet never touched d ground. you gave all you had & now I am whole

the title is my fav lyrics from the following songs.

Been listening to the Eclipse soundtrack,
my fav track on there is Florence and the Machine's "Heavy In Your Arms"
is a fav of many among the fans,
when I find out what it means, I'll let you know :)

Florance + the Machine - Heavy In Your Arms

I was a heavy heart to carry
My beloved was weighed down
My arms around his neck
My fingers laced to crown.

I was a heavy heart to carry
My feet dragged across ground
And he took me to the river
Where he slowly let me drown

My love has concrete feet
My love's an iron ball
Wrapped around your ankles
Over the waterfall

I'm so heavy, heavy
Heavy in your arms
I'm so heavy, heavy
Heavy in your arms

And is it worth the wait
All this killing time?
Are you strong enough to stand
Protecting both your heart and mine?

Who is the betrayer?
Who's the killer in the crowd?
The one who creeps in corridors
And doesn't make a sound

My love has concrete feet
My love's an iron ball
Wrapped around your ankles
Over the waterfall

My love has concrete feet
My love's an iron ball
Wrapped around your ankles
Over the waterfall

I'm so heavy, heavy
Heavy in your arms
I'm so heavy, heavy
So heavy in your arms

This will be my last confession
I love you never felt like any blessing
(Ohhhh)
Whispering like it's a secret
Only to condemn the one who hears it
With a heavy heart

Heavy heavy i'm so heavy in your arms
(i'm so) Heavy heavy i'm so heavy in your arms
(i'm so) Heavy heavy i'm so heavy in your arms
(i'm so) Heavy heavy i'm so heavy in your arms

I was a heavy heart to carry
my beloved was weighed down
My arms around his neck
My fingers laced to crown

I was a heavy heart to carry
But he never let me down
When he had me in his arms
My feet never touched the ground

I'm so heavy, heavy in your arms.

Heavy, i'm so heavy in your arms.

I love Sia and I was so happy when I found out she was on the soundtrack,
so it was one of the songs I was looking forward to,
so sad that there are no Sia groups of fb for me to "like"

Sia - My Love

My love, leave yourself behind
Beat inside me, leave you blind
My love, you have found peace
You were searching for release

You gave it all, into the call
You took her dancing and
You took a fall for us

You came thoughtfully, loved me faithfully
You taught me honor, you did it for me

to late you will slip away
You will wait for me my love

Now I am strong (Now I am strong)
You gave me all
You gave all you had and now I am whole

My love, leave yourself behind
Beat inside me, leave you blind
My love, look what you can do
I am mending, I'll be with you

You took my hand added a plan
You gave me your heart
I asked you to dance with me

You loved honestly
Did what you could release

I know in peace we'll go
I won't release this loss

Now I am strong (Now I am strong)
You gave me all
You gave all you had and now I am whole

My love, beat inside me.

My love, leave yourself behind
Beat inside me, I'll be with you

and this is just too yummy not to share XD





I've posted this last pic before but trust me, after the day I had it wouldn't hurt to have a bit more of a good thing...


Alex Pettyfer is still hotness worthy but I'm not going to post any of his pics tonight (maybe some other time)
don't want to get carried away hehe!

taking things on a lighter note this time because I'm so sleepy, sleepy, sleepy but I can't sleep cause tonight is spain vs portugal,
I feel like crying cause I'm aching so bad from today's workout.
have a pleasant night everyone.

opinion

today I woke up at none-of-your-business o'clock,
and went about my usual activities...

it so happens,
one of the things planned today was a workout session,
I've let myself go so bad that I can honestly say that the workout today was MURDER!

but it got me pumped up,
so while I was at it,
a lone ranger unexpectedly came up and decided to drill me with this question:

Syaf, what do you say to people to hate Twilight?

sweating and out of breath I answered: "I guess it's okay. I mean YES, I'm an avid fan and I'm a huge supporter. I do get my feelings hurt but still, I don't get all defensive and say things to prove them wrong. if they want to call the books/movies ridiculous that's their opinion."

SEE! even when I'm in my most imbalanced state,
I still say that.

it's because day by day,
I live by this principle where I try my best to not bash anyone.
so after I finished doing my business before I went to shower,
I found that person again and added,
this time I wasn't out of breath:
"but if they say something insulting about it that's totally out of line, sure I'll argue back."

but wait,
I am not perfect,
nobody is,
and even though it's best to stay out of the way as chaos breaks lose sometimes,
It's damn difficult to stay neutral all the freaking time.

like when you're chilling with your friends and jokes are tossed around,
and those jokes touch some sensitive issues that shouldn't be made fun of...

you can't just all of a sudden go: "Hey! that's bad, don't say stuff like that."
wow, what a way to kill the mood huh?

so please understand
that when you're among close friends it's okay to let loose and have fun.

you can have your own ground in things,
act respectfully when there's a situation that may be offensive,
but come on,
don't be so tight all the time.

that's no fun.

there are times when you can play the righteous part,
and there are also times when you can have fun :)

relax... stay safe... enjoy life

bla bla bla

this weekend kept me busy,
I made sure I was updated on all the latest premiere news,
& I hoped I would find something that was worthy to share,
sadly, nothing really surprised me.

I mean there's a lot of stuff to keep me occupied,
but nothing really wowed me.

it's so sad cause I thought I could post a vid of red carpet interviews from the premiere,
I didn't because there was nothing new to share,
all the questions were so predictable and I've heard the same answers so many times.
"What was your favorite scene to film in the movie?" and bla bla bla.

as for pics,
I thought I'd at least post of what they were wearing,
but nah! I didn't feel like it. sorry.

In other news than the premiere and yet related to the same topic as well,
I bought the soundtrack and movie companion book...




and thus my collection is satisfyingly if not fully complete :)




I didn't plan to do this this year,
I'm not crazy enough to collect ALL the merchandise,
No! I don't sleep on an Edward bed sheet or own a shirtless Jacob doll,
I only collect the things that I had previously bought the year before,
so that my collection can look continuous but not so crazy haha!

Oh and I hate this part!
I hate it when I become broke when I really want something,
and I end up asking my parents for money,
I don't want to keep depending on them for money especially at 19.

I don't ask for money often,
but because this happened to be one of those "I NEED! I MUST HAVE IT!" times,
I had to ask.

*sigh*

note to self: save up for next year's crazy fangirl shopping so that you won't have to keep asking your parents for money when you're already 20++!

I'll probably post some vids and pics of the premiere when I feel like it :)

immature

You think I'm being immature??

Immaturity is when you pick your friends.
Immaturity is when you fail to notice your responsibilities to others.
Immaturity is when you avoid from admitting your mistakes.
Immaturity is when you don't find the decency to acknowledge others when they should be.
Immaturity is when you purposely avoid confrontation with someone because you ran out of excuses to tell.
Immaturity is when you deliberately chose to exclude the people who make you uncomfortable because you just don't want to say it to their faces.
Immaturity is when you blame others but yourself.

So you think I'm being immature? like seriously?? judge me by my age FINE!
think twice loser

madness part 2

as I promised, the madness continues...













can't wait for the big premiere in 8 hours!

stigmatized

this song has just sinfully pierced my heart

Stigmatized by The Calling

If I give up on you I give up on me
If we fight what's true, will we ever be
Even God himself and the faith I knew
Shouldn't hold me back, shouldn't keep me from you

Tease me, by holding out your hand
Then leave me, or take me as I am
And live our lives, stigmatized

I can feel the blood rushing though my veins
When I hear your voice, driving me insane
Hour after hour day after day
Every lonely night that I sit and pray

We live our lives on different sides,
But we keep together you and I
Just live our lives, stigmatized

We'll live our lives, We'll take the punches everyday
We'll live our lives I know we're gonna find our way

I believe in you
Even if no one understands
I believe in you, and I don't really give a damn
stigmatized
We live our lives on different sides
But we keep together you and I
We live our lives on different sides

We're gonna live our lives
Gotta live our lives
We're gonna live our lives
We're gonna live our lives, Gonna live our lives, Stigmatized

Stigmata is not a disease (as far as I know)
they're bodily marks, sores, or sensations of pain according to the Roman Catholic faith (thank you wiki)

I've also heard about this myth,
that stigmata is when two people share some sort of connection,
although they don't know each over,
have never met each other,
live on opposite sides of the world,
when one person hurts physically,
so does the other.

say,
one gets into a car accident,
the other person on the other side of the earth,
suddenly get chronic injuries without any causes or explanation whatsoever.

it just happens,
that's stigmata,
not a disease,
but a connection.

Yesterday, a question in Twitter caught my eye,
"Give me your definition of love."
and I had to answer in less than five minutes,
Obviously I couldn't come up with the right answer on the spot,
and even if I did it extended the amount of characters per Tweet.

So I didn't answer,
not right away.

then I found out about this,
and personally,
I think this is what love should be.

If you bleed,
I bleed.
If you get a cut,
I'll take out a knife and cut myself for you.
that way, I'll feel exactly what you're feeling.

Love can be a lot of things,
putting others needs before yours, acceptance, seeing them in their ugly and still loving them etc...

To me love is pain,
OR LET ME JUST TRY TO CLARIFY THIS
love is when you cry for their pain,
you feel what's hurting them,
even though how much it hurts you don't really give a damn because you know that the pain is the inescapable hold that's keeping you together.

even when they are strong,
you still hurt because that's how much you care about them.

Oh, and I did answer that Twitter question actually :)
I answered, "Just because it's meant to be, doesn't meant it happens right away. that's love."

People have trouble maintaining relationships,
it ends up in heartbreak.
have you ever thought that maybe love takes time?

you go ahead and live your life,
day after day,
with no changes,
there's nothing stopping you from living your life,
and when you're ready for love,
it will come to you.

until then,
we're stigmatized

hope that helps you BFF :D

will it take forever for me to unpack?

while I'm still in writing/editing mod... help yourself XD
p/s I need help like seriously, words of encouragement please!